Moderation/”schmoderation”

I have been overweight all of my adult life. I have tried to lose weight MANY times. Some of it was successful, some of it, not so much. None of it lasted…which is why I keep trying. Of the many weight loss plans out there, Weight Watchers or WW, is the best. I am a true believer because it teaches you how to eat and live in the real world.

My recent sobriety has been a wonderful. I have learned a lot of great techniques to help me. I noticed part way through my Sober School Class, “Getting Unstuck” with Kate Bee, many of the methods we were learning are just like methods we use in WW. Ideas such as finding your “why” – what is it that makes you want to get sober/lose weight, building a “toolbox” – things you can fall back on when you really want to drink/eat cake, and, group support – like minded people who know exactly what you are going through, who you can trust and talk to without being judged. These are three of the biggest approaches in both WW and the Sober School. During the beginning of sobriety, I realized how the process for getting sober is so similar to getting slender! “I may not be good at losing weight, but I am going to knock this sober thing out of the park!” But, that got me thinking…

Why on earth are these techniques working so well for me to stay sober…yet I struggle constantly with losing weight?

It finally dawned on me while I was trying to fall asleep one night….its the dreaded Moderation!

One thing Kate Bee emphasized in our class is the fact that Moderation is a joke when it comes to booze. I always knew that. In my mind, I knew that I would have to quit. There is no “just one” or “only tonight”. I tried moderating…successfully for a short time. All of us ‘drunkards’ have tried it. Kate Bee really makes sure we understand that moderation is not possible. All the points about why moderation doesn’t work make sense; alcohol is addictive, we build tolerance, we are constantly fighting/questioning – when can I drink? What should I drink? etc., we must go through the toughest part of getting sober over and over and over if we try to moderate…until we finally give in and say, “screw it!” And believe me, a drunkard will always get to that point!

That’s why drunks like me are successful in sobriety when we quit drinking. Nothing else works. We can’t drink alcohol. Period.

But, unfortunately, I can’t give up eating. I can’t quit. I can’t stop. I have to eat. Yes, I should quit eating cake, cookies, candy, fried foods, potatoes, bread, carbs all together – right? Well that isn’t even realistic. That’s one of the best things about WW. They teach you that you don’t have to give up anything. You just have to Moderate! And there it is. For one of my biggest life changes – getting sober – Moderation is a bad word. But in the other area I need to change – getting slimmer – it’s all about Moderation!

I am 143 days sober and love it. I mean, I definitely have days where I wish I could drink – have some wine, make a hot buttered rum, grab one of my favorite beers, pour some Kahlua in my coffee. But I know it’s not possible and I will keep moving forward. But I continue to struggle with weight loss. I am not saying weight loss is harder than sobriety. I guarantee there are a lot of people out there that struggle with sobriety every single day. But, I struggle with weigh loss and eating and I just wish I could quit. Because moderation doesn’t seem to be working for me.

~Ms. K

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