If you don’t have an Amazon Alexa device, let me tell you, they can be very helpful. I mean, I set timers and alarms just by asking. Since we are doing school and work fulltime from home, Alexa gets a work out for alarms and timers! “Alexa, set an alarm for 8:50am” – to remind my son to get online for school! “Alexa, set a timer for 5 minutes” – when I get myself to take a break and do my Cubii for a few minutes. She even gives me notifications when something has been delivered, which is great. BUT, today, Alexa over stepped! Out of the blue, I get a notification, “Based on your ordering history, it looks like it is time to reorder MEGA COOKIE.” WHAT???
There have been many times in life I have eaten or drank something that I don’t want to be reminded of. Ordering a “Mega Cookie” is one of those times. Don’t get me wrong, the Duncan Hines Mega Cookie is pretty yummy and not something that I sit and eat all at one time. But the fact that I have ordered it enough times for Alexa to think I might need to reorder it so I don’t “run low” is pretty humiliating. Thank goodness she never reminds me I am running low on Wine or Vodka. I guess I was ordering that regularly enough that she wasn’t at all concerned about me running out!
When I heard Alexa today I was pissed! “Shut up, Alexa!” I don’t need to be reminded that I am eating enough sugar for 12 people! Thank goodness she doesn’t announce how many Werther’s Chewy Caramels I have ordered recently! It’s pretty embarrassing to think about the crap I have been eating since I quit drinking…and then to have it thrown in my face by a computerized assistant! The nerve!
I realized after my interaction with Alexa, that she hit a nerve. It all goes back to the shame I talked about a few posts back. I could really bury myself in shame just from the memories of all the bad eating – eating when no one else could see. The amount no one new about. Big double cheeseburgers – add bacon! Extra cheese! Large fries! No one will know but me! It got like that with the drinking too. Drunkards like me usually prefer to stay home and drink – and alone was the best because no one was there to judge or more importantly, drink your booze. Having Alexa remind me that I might need a Mega Cookie was a slap in the face. A reminder of something I didn’t want to remember.
But, I am changing. I am moving forward. I am facing the shame and sending it on its way! “Alexa, I see your Mega Cookie and raise you one healthy affirmation!” After dwelling on this for hours (honestly, I had a hard time sleeping!) I decided I am going to use Alexa for good rather than evil!
First, I found the setting to turn off my shopping reminders. It’s bad enough I can’t figure out how to clear the history on my Amazon Fresh account, at least I don’t have Alexa ‘kindly’ pointing out what I might be running out of. Second, I set up reminders…lots of them. One is weekly on Tuesdays at 0900 and it just tells me to remember to avoid ordering food delivery. One of them is weekly on Friday making sure I am moving a bit and eating well, and there is even a daily reminder telling me that I am beautiful, inside and out!
I have learned a little something while getting sober. While I am still eating to much sugar, I have quit drinking booze. It’s been 135 days. And that’s a huge accomplishment! Mega Cookie or not, I am headed in the right direction. I will continue my journey with support from my friends, my sober club, WW and evidently, a little help from Alexa!